A few months ago, I came home from a New Year’s Eve party, turned on the shower, and bawled my eyes out crying the hardest I had in years. Anybody who is remotely close to me knows that I don’t cry easily and this is really unnatural for me.
That night, at 4 am, dripping wet in a towel I made the decision that I wanted to be happy and left my job.
I left my job to travel across the world to India, where I saw how blessed I was to live the life I had. I traveled across the world to Hong Kong, to finally see my cousins and aunts and uncles again after not seeing them for 5 years.
I left my job to get closer to my mother and family. To finally understand that everything she ever does for me is out of love. To realize how proud of me she is and how she’s always been there for me. To realize how I am nothing without my family, regardless of how irritating they are on a daily basis.
I left my job to learn how to relax. To learn that it’s not always important to have things go my way, and that you can’t always control what’s going to happen in you life. To understand that a smile is the best way to brighten my day, and that worrying about things that haven’t happened yet doesn’t solve anything.
I left my job to realize that it’s okay to admit defeat sometimes. It’s okay to not like everything that’s thrown in front of you. Do not ever force yourself to do anything just for the money. Do not ever force yourself to do anything just because you feel obligated to. You are not obligated to anything except your own happiness.
The guilt I first felt to make the decision of leaving my job and when I first left my job was overwhelming. But everybody else is working, why can’t I? What about the money? It’s so embarrassing to admit defeat by retail pharmacy. Am I just going to be another one of those couch potatoes? It was embarrassing when people asked “What do you do all day long?” or “What’s the next step?” But overtime, I embraced those feelings and learned to channel them from guilt into happiness. I deserved a break. I don’t need to care what other people think of me, I am using this time to figure out what I want.
And this is what I have done. I’m finally happy, feel like I’ve done roughly most of the things I need to, and feel that I have a clear head of what makes me joyful in life. After many plane trips, miles across the world, drunken nights, and new relationships, I’ve finally decided it’s time to go back to work.
Last Sunday, I came back from my wonderful trip to the Pacific Northwest. Last Tuesday, I casually applied to some jobs. Last Friday, I interviewed for a clinical position. Last weekend, I went to Vegas. Last night, I checked my e-mail and was surprised that I received an offer for the job.
Nobody knows if I’ll be happy at this next job for sure yet. But at this very minute, I’m grateful that somebody decided to take a chance on me by offering me a clinical position as a pharmacist. That I was able to find a stable job in LA with the very exact schedule that I had only dreamed of before quitting Target. I had only hoped to find a position where I could grow clinically as a pharmacist and be taken seriously for once, instead of using my PharmD to ring out laundry detergent and cat food.
Unsure about the future, but excited and willing to try something different in this next stage of my life. Even if experiences aren’t the most desirable, never stop taking chances and growing right?
Coava Coffee Roasters
On our last day in Portland, OR, we headed over to Coava Coffee Roasters to grab a drink before heading to the airport. I could’ve have stayed there for hours. The lighting and the atmosphere is amazing there, and of course the coffee is delicious. Charles grabbed a coffee, while I had a cappuccino, and both were top notch. Definitely the perfect place to take photos, chill with a group of friends, or bring your laptop and get some work done.